April

Last month I ended my post talking about my blog list and bucket list. I’ve made a lot of progress, and it feels great. I was feeling at my lowest last month, lacked direction and felt abandoned. I’m more thankful for time as it proceeds to pass by. Given that not an excessive amount of time has gone by, I’ve still learned a few things. First being that subtle daily reminder that I need to care for myself first before doing so for others. Second, not everyone is going to stick around and no matter what you do or say. Other things I’ve learned include things like it being okay to move on, or to be thankful for the present time instead of focusing on the rough stuff that’s already happened.

I told myself I wouldn’t bring this up, but I think it’s important for reference purposes. In February, I was dumped because I’m not a lovable person. Then in March, I worked my last shift at a job I’ve had for seven years. Overall these were things I wasn’t necessarily happy about, but to the people who preached about time to me, those people deserve an award.

It’s funny because I remember writing out a list of monthly blog posts and Andy laughed at me because I assumed I would be getting a new job by March and writing about it was my topic for the month. Well, it happened even if it wasn’t necessarily a happy parting. I’ve worked in the aquatics division for the city for such a long time. I remember telling myself that I was going to build a career in it, but then people would make comments about being a “lifer” and it was then that I realized how unsuccessful that made me feel. I was comparing myself to them and how they had these great jobs or life paths. It really just put me deeper into a slump.

There’s a lot I had in mind with a career when I was in high school. I wanted to study neuroscience and work in a clinic. As I went through college I came to find out that the career fields for what I wanted to do were essentially nonexistent, which was a bummer and just turned that switch for college off for me. Back to my main point, I recently accepted a new job downtown! Is it my dream career? No, but it’s a step. I’m working for a criminal defense lawyer who primarily works in cases of mental health issues. Mental health was my study of focus in school, so if anything, I feel like this is getting me back on track.

Timing really is in play here. I’ve been telling myself that I wasn’t going to work in aquatics forever after that feeling of not being successful got rubbed in my face. Given that the aquatics family will always have a piece of my heart, I don’t want to be a lifeguard forever. I feel great right now with the steps I’ve taken and really do hope for the best with the people that have accumulated on my team over the past seven years.

During my time in aquatics, I’ve branched out into essentially working a second job. I’ve been babysitting one of my old managers foster kids for over a year and it’s been an incredibly rewarding experience. With their current and longest placement, the transformation that’s occurred is huge. One thing I’ve learned in it all is that bad days happen, and the most I can do is attempt to make the day end better. I treat everything as a learning experience for me and the kids. If anything, instilling positive behavior and being a roll model is progress. It used to be a huge struggle and as of lately I’ve found that small things work best. Working with them is something that has changed my perspective on working with kids and even how a family functions. I plan on doing my best to be there for them, they’ve always been supportive of me especially in my life crisis moments.

Summary of this month: I got a new job, and it’s hopefully going to get me back on track with my career goals. It’s a weird feeling to let go of something I’m so used to, but it needed to happen.

Also, here’s the bucket list update! The blog post list will remain a reader mystery, I have to have some suspense going for you guys.